Contradictions of Angkor Vat

Thankfully Mr S's eyes are closed. Here i would like to introduce our ever so nice & gentle tour guide. He is 20 something young lad, who has studied Khmer, English, little French & now wants to study Spanish.

Extremely versatile, enterprising...but imagine the situation he is in. He is among the 5000 tour guides at the World Heritage site - Angkor Vat. For many new readers this is the world's first ever Brahma temple. In India the HIndus do NOT make idols of lord Brahma or construct his temples...he is creator of this universe so he is everywhere, i guess...

Angkor Vat is part of Cambodia. The country ravaged by war since eons...first war with Viet Nam, then they were French Colony. Then US carpet bombed Cambodia. By then Hindusim influence was seen at every level & the caste system too pervaded at every level. So the Brahmins became intellectuals & ONLY they studied & were permitted to study, while the lower castes were deprived. As a result, the Khmer Rouge leader Pol Pot, who studied the Frnech Revolution in France & majorly influenced by Mao returned to make revolution in Cambodia. He made everyone march to villages to toil as labourers, the rice they rew & harvested was bought by China for the arms they gave him...men were killed brutally, people were held captive. Women raped, then killed brutally. Children thrown on trees & killed. Ovewr 1.7 million died of both brutality, starvation & fear.

Mr S's family are survivors. The family was separated like many. Since they survived they could give birth to Mr S. Today he has realised he needs to work to study. Interestingly, the govt of cambodia wc is a dual govt (Khmer supported by Vietnamese) & local have opened the country for investments.

So there is China -largest investor, others like Korea & other foreign invesors in different sectors. Heritage sies like Angkor Vat too have investors. Mainly Apsara company wc is Vietnamese. They charge $20 for full day, they have hired staff for security, guides. The Cambodian govt gives guide licence, uniform, rest is all in the hands of this company. The 2nd bigger company is Korean. They conduct the night tour wc is $15 for 2 hours ONLY.

Both these companies keep all the profits. They pay appallingly low salaries to the staff. Mr S said that they get ONLY few $ this is more than doctors who work in govt hospitals. SO you can imagine the levels of salaries. The guide told us that the company doesn't provide any benefits like bonus, leave, medical aid, benefits, insurance or any such benefits to the staff.

The security is posted at nook & corner to check Photo IDs. They si on plastic chairs with NO shed or protection. The guides depend on tips given by tourists...often many are students or backpackers....

The guide told us they have an Union but they would rather be low key...they maintain low profile. Because few years before when some union leaders have spoken up, they were killed. Mr S said that the govt of Cambodia bumped them off. So they all rather keep quiet instead of fighting for their rights.

He said that Apsara also has hotles. Most of the 200 odd hotels in Siem Rep are owned by foreigners. They employ locals, but NO major benefits are given to them. I asked if the union of hotel employees & travel guides are combined or have dialogued & Mr S said NO. I suggested they begin informally some dialogue so that they can grow slowly in numbers. He was overwhelmed..we assured him that this is what we can do as peace felllows to give concrete suggestions to make their lives better...but he said they have to be careful.

The good part is I am proud being an Indian. Was always & after visiting angkor vat, im re-emphasising it. India is THE only country which has given money & funds for restoring this site & is reviving it..for its preservation...unlike the other foreign countries that are fleecing Angkor Vat....i hope Karin & I can start facebook online capmpaign to help guides like Mr S & help save Angkor Vat.

Missing notes

Well, 2 days ago we had another sharing in class. We were to say something ridiculous we missed about our cities back home. For the first time readers, i am attending a course on Conflict resolution & peace at the Chulalongkorn University, Bangkok.

So we have trainers specialised in conflict resolution, game theories, applying theory to groups & so on & so forth...everyone was expected to mention something. Now i have a friend Mr S. He asked me through text if I missed Mumbai. Which I do NOT right now. I am NOT really one of those who misses anyone or anything, not because i am cold, detached or cruel. I live in this moment. I live in the very present. Missing connotes an emotion of weakness, in my analysis functioning & living.

Missing means, you are dwelling on the past & living on the past. Missing according to the dictionary means, "Lacking, absent, failure to accomplish or achieve." That is why i said it is a weakness. I have NOT failed & even if i didn't get something i wanted, today it may NOT be that significant. If you miss someone or person, that also means you are holding onto something that is NOT yours, in your existence. I do NOT miss people as a rule, especially those alive. Sometimes you may reminisce, recollect memories, but that doesn't mean you miss. People are meant to come, go exit & enter your life. One has to learn to live with these happenings.

So i told Mr S that he may not believe it, but I really do NOT miss Mumbai. He ofcourse said he expected this answer as "Miss" doesn't exist in my vocabulary! Which is true. So when i was confronted to reply in the class i was jaw locked! Seriously, i wanted to laugh. I shared it in class that i do NOT miss anyone or anything.

The trainer persuaded me & coaxed me. He said, "Something ridiculous you surely miss neeta." And you know in a brief spilt of a second i said to myself, "Yes Neeta you miss the dirty odour & smells back home!" So i had this absolutely naughty grin on my face & one colleague said, wait you're going to say something really funny. Yes, I said it aloud, "I miss the dirty odours in my city, I miss the dirty body odours back home of men & more so young girls!" The whole class was in splits & making sounds.

An Indian colleague who sits next to me, Ankur looked at me sympathetically & said, "You know Neeta you're right. The people in India really have worse body odours!" Some extra smart will read & say so you go round smelling people is it. No, i Don't do that. One doesn't have to take that extra effort in Mumbai or India. We are just a bunch of unhygienic race.

Men have huge body odour (BO as politely & politically correct i am told) problem. In our DNA office dammit, the young girls smell of BO early in the day! So many journalists have BO. I have already written about it earlier in this blog. In fact Ranjona (A senior in this field& Off) had her ear filled with my daily outbursts about how there is a strong BO in my section. Yes, young PYTs chavlyas matkyas as i call them, dress to the hilt, sex bombs but oh! My god, have such strong BO. It makes me nauseated.

Do i need to emphasise how traumatic it is to travel in a bus or train with strong BO?? eeks. rattling, unnerving, assault on my nose, its my basic right to protect myself. So Ranjona has donated her deo to me. I carry one in my bag, a napkin to cover my face & I am unashamed to hold it on my face as i move around in the city. I carry a fan too now, so that i can get fresh air as opposed to odour filled air.

Mumbai city has a lot of it. It also has a peculiar stink. Now China has a stink through out the country, may be because of their Stinky tofu. It is a peculiar stink, quite unlike the fish stench that coastal or tropical cities have. NOT like Mumbai's beaches where they dry prawns & Bombil.

Thailand has a mix of odours. Bb as in Bad breath is across Asia & Oh! Yes, the true old America, as they use very little water in their lives. Thailand they have all sorts of stinly food prodcuts, their food stinks. plus they use shrim & other fish sauces, so they stink too. Walking on the streets is a pleasure on the feet, as they are clean, NO garbage, drains. But it is definitely an assualt on the nose!

Mumbai has strong sewage, bad drainage & overflowing mahole stench, bad odour problem. There are heaps of garbage & that too gets mixed in the air. So imagine now firstly BO, then mass BO, garbage, drainage, sewage & the famous Mithi river (Nullah) stench problem, mixed with drying fish, odours from slums & lastly but NOT the least coastal sea odour.

Can you imagine how many odours on a daily basis (minus the fragrances of perfumes, deos, food, etc) that we inhale on a daily basis in Bombay?? Gawd, it is a torture, it is also ridiculous. Because these odours are something we can minimise. We all together can identify there is a problem with us so bathe properly, use deos, allum & eat well. These odours are from people who are earning decent salaries or income & can afford to minimise them.

Sometimes ridiculous also becomes a serious ...so the class definitely had a laugh as they said "eeks, that is something outrageous Neeta."

Neeta Unexpectedly....

Strange thing happened in one of our classes recently. We were asked to share with the class something unexpected that each one of us done or have experienced or said. I was unsure what to say? Everything about me is unexpected, come to think of it. I shared this, i told them I am personification of unexpectedness!

My Aai-Baba will recollect how my mother was asked to drop her baby, that is me, when she was carrying me. One gynac had told her that the pregnancy was a risk to her life. My baba sent her to his rakhi sister, a gynac who told my mother (she was my mother's gynac thereafter for me & our younger brother, Madhav), who told her there is NO risk at all.

My aai was 'informed' very confidently that she will get a son & i was conceived as a girl. Before the delivery my mother went for a regular visit to Saroj atya the gynac who checked her & asked her to stay on the hospital. Aai had no problem, except on 20th midnight, the first few minutes of 21st May her second daughter me, was born.

Absolutely unexpected! She had an older daughter Smita -round, podggy, great cheeks, bald & absolutely the cutest baby we have seen since then...here aai got a wide-eyed baby girl, who had immense hair on her head, round face but weak child. The contrasts were so evident that they clashed on a daily basis for over 2 decades with the expectations of my parents from me.

Every decision i have taken in my life, had been totally UN CALCULATED...choice of men, choice of career, change of career fm social advocacy to writing or broadcast journalism, choice to remain single, to exert my right to make choices & the method i took them, they all were unexpected & in many ways still opposite to that of my sister's. To assert my choice of NOT wanting to be a mother too is unexpected of me, many of my friends thought here is one girl who get settled, marry & have babies! why on earth they predicted such things from me, they best can answer.

People will find it surprising that i cook well, though hate anything that is a daily chore, like making dal, rotis, fulkas, bhaji, etc etc...haha...I HATE believe me despise washing clothes. Oh! my god here there is NO laundry machine where we can wash our clothes by paying a $. Its surprising that i have NO expectations from anyone in life anymore...i have HOPE NO expectations...so i can enlist a lot of things...
So i just said something that i felt was most natural. I told the class that everything about me from my birth has been unexpected. Yes, i won't lie. For me to have got selected for this course was absolutely unexpected for me. I have travelled to 3 parts of the world, rather continents NOT at my expense, NOT a junket, but on fellowships is absolutely unexpected. so the list of my unexpectedness continues.

Oh! Yes, there are times when i have shown immense sense of humour & laughed off a conflict, while I've run into people, friends & colleagues unexpectedly...the class responded with loud laughter saying yeah, whatever i said they felt was interesting & some said well, it goes with your personality! What it means, they can explain best! Yet, many seem to recall this conversation in class frequently.

Conflict in the group

Now, we are Peace fellows, class of April 2009..having said this i will reiterate that we are 'supposed' to take initiatives to the communities, society at large & more importantly within ourselves to spread the message of peace. I believe that Peace is like our breath which we constantly live by. Now what i am writing is extremely disturbing more so since the whole episode has left bitterness among the whole class. The group is now divided on gender lines - women versus the men.

I am NOT talking of normal tiffs, conflicts due to strong personalities, NO, these are nothing in comparison to what has been happening in our group. But then aren't police supposed to be the ultimate responsible persons for upholding & maintaining law & order? Do they fulfill their responsibility? So if they fail why do i get so disturbed & rattled with my colleagues? Because i thought here are people who have been selected by their countries, to come learn, study about conflict resolution & go back to their countries & implement, internalise what they have learnt here. More so because some earnest tax paying people have bloody well invested in these rascals.

We have among us men in the class of peace fellows. We are in Thailand, Bangkok (eeks i have sooooo many corny names for these 2 places...Thai -Land, Bang -kok!!) so people have conceptions, rather misconceptions & desires or rather fantasies which they want to fulfill after coming to this land. Now i am NOT insinuating that women are incapable of feeling the way like men. But having said that i definitely believe that such women are rare.

For long we had been hearing that some men in our group have gone visiting Pat pong, brothels, slept with sex workers, prostitutes, etc etc...I definitely agree that what anyone does in their personal lives is their own 'fucking' business. We not here to sermonise or convert. However, there are some facts that hit one's face when we speak of Peace fellows are indulging in these practices.
(1) Someone has sponsored them to come here & study
(2) A renowned Internationally acclaimed organisation Rotary has sponsored them. They may be elite but they have a good reputation
(3) They are bloody living on the campus in the 'official' residence
(4) They are indulging in "illegal" business
(5) They represent their countries, dammit they are Ambassadors of their countries

Friends will say whay are you rattled Neeta, let them do what they want. Oh! Sure, infact i had NOT even raised this issue with the management, intially. Though some of my female friends took the initiative.

But what is more infuriating is that one man in our group went & made a sexual advance & proposition for becoming sex mates with another female colleague. This is outrageous, disgusting & he definitely needs to be kicked in his arse & thrown out of this place. More so he even spoke disrespectful of his wife to her. She told me about this & I made her talk more, so that i could get her to express everything. She was like, "Neeta I can just imagine what you would have done & said to him." Well, i am proud to say there are NOT many people like, who will stick their neck out & speak for their rights. I am a minority. This is worse than going to a brothell I asked her to tell Jenn, but she told me she should handle it 'maturedly!!!!' Means, SILENCE.

All what we have learnt in the last 2 months seems to have fallen on deaf ears. The need to stand up for one's rights, handle conflict & resolve it, repsect each other, it seems Greek & Latin when are faced with such people. Well the conflict wasn't resolved. Because after visiting the brothel this man has the gall to go & tell the lady colleague that he visited a brothel. NOW! what does one say to such people??

Meanwhile the women friends & colleagues went & told Jenn about the illegal activities. Till then Jenn wasn't aware. More so i had a long chat with the women. I said I have NO sympathy (Gawd even empathy) for these men, or for their spouses either. I really don't care. But what matters is that they are indulging in activities which they should do after the course is over. Also NOT when they are staying on official college premises. More so, i wanted them to tell of another loud, ill-mannered otherwise nice male colleague who of course wears his country's tag on his chest. What with their newly elected President.

Mr X came with us to Pattaya. He made hotel bookings with us, accompanied us. On the night we women visited the sleaze street, he came along & told me at least thrice. "You know Neeta if i had come with my group of male friends i would've have fucking come here. I would've have done things like sleep with these lady boys." So i was like "ofcourse you still can go." what is it about this place that attracts men sooo very much??

The next day he didn't answer his cell or room land line. We were sure he wouldn't come with us to Koh Samet. We 4 women with Dilshad, wife & daughter enjoyed & returned to the bus stop. There we saw Mr X in a delirious state! His eyes were listless, foam around his lips, aimlessly walking, soiled Bermudas & eeks he was wreaking of alcohol & some substance...god knows what it was. Dilshad called him & brought him to where we sat. We had presumed he had gone off to Bangkok wt Sofia. Please, i have a younger brother who was an alcoholic & i really didnt want to play counsellor to a male colleague who has shown a similar pattern of immature drunken behaviour in the last 3days.

Wendy & Chiara accompanied him for his safety. He paid & got off at MBK for food & by then they were exasperated. They returned to the dormitory. I urged them to talk to Jenn about this just as they would talk about the brothel part. On my part i told Mr X he should take someone along with him the next time he went binging again. coz as a journalist i told him you are bloody white! means, he is the first target, most vulnerable & can get mugged, raped, drugged, or even falsely implicated.

After listening to me, he NEVER once told me he had lost his camera, thankfully i had shared this all with Simon & asked him to get some information out fm Mr X. Yes, we must know details, coz he could have been raped or injected or drugged, more so did he know?? More so dammit he came with us. He at NO point told us that he will go separate ways on our stay & we should NOT be bothered about him. Because that would mean he is solely responsible for his acts or misdeeds. Since he did NOT tell us, had something to happen, we would have had to face the consequences. Well, Mr X has still NOT learnt, he repeated his performance yet again on Tues night.

By now the management is aware of these dealings. I am glad they are. Initially i was of the opinion that we women shouldn't bother. Let these men face the consequences. But then, the legal points i raised would mean, if something has to happen, all of us could get branded. And hell will breka loose if I am branded with these arse holes man.

Worse still, a good, nice, socially committed course will get tainted & blacklisted because of these horrendous men & their misdeeds. It also means Rotary gets tainted, the people who have sponsored, conceptualised this course, the Chulalongkorn University & the authorities here, all will labelled in one category with these sort of men. Of course, it will happen. Just imagine if any of these chutiyas has to get caught in their act, how it can backfire & what a sensational media case this will be! I would have gone all out to unearth it, had i been covering it.

What is worse is that some of these men even approached a Thai male colleague in the group. One who is a monk in the making! He is so very nice, a Buddhist who has undergone Dhamma doctrination. He was distressed & asked me what should he have said to the men who asked him to take them to a brothel. In my blunt way i told him Tony you must say upfront you are NOT a pimp & if they want they can get lost finding brothels for themselves. Also, what the hell do they mean by Thai girls?? Are all Thai girls whores? I mean why do men think below the belt??

Away from this course i give an ant's arse of space to these male colleagues in my mind, life. But their activities has left us all baffled & sickened. I feel sad that what a waste of money to have invested in such men. Tomorrow they will be going out in the huge world, will they continue to behave like this? The vulnerable women in conflict zones will be made to feel further vulnerable.

The Song of Peace

Yesterday was special in our class..Fred is a Phillipino, taught us about Peace Zones & their importance. He asked us to break into groups of 4...quite an interesting group ours was - Ankur, Manolin, Chen & Me...Now none of us have any skill or talent close to Poetry....while giving us the instructions, I picked just one word that Fred said, you can even write a poem. I began writing the first line & Ankur joined & when he saw its a song, he said yes lets write a song...I only initiated writing the first line...ankur & chen just followed in like notes in a tune. They began giving me points - I liked Chen spoke of children going to school, about commuity life, cattle grazing in fields. Ankur said write about women, prayers, jails getting empty, Lastly Ankur being true Indian,influenced b y our Hndi films insisted we write about doves flying over the peace zone...Manolin was little slo yesterday bcoz he was lil under weather.he spoke of respect to all, obey elders...what i did was write it all in a form of song...pl read...

"Lay down your arms, you army and rebels, come join hands for peace
Let the children play and send them back to school
Let the women tender us with their love as they keep the families together
Let the men go out to the fields to work, so the markets can flourish
Let the bells toll in the Church and we all join in these praises of peace
Let us all bow together as we thank the Lord for this peace
Let the people travel again so that they wear smiles once more
Let us all celebrate this festival of Peace!
Leave your goats and cattle to graze in the fields
Let the jails empty as the police can enjoy a life with their families
Let there be jobs for all so that no one cries anymore.
There is no hunger in this village as there is food for all!Let the people live with each other peacefully as they respect each one equally
Let the doves fly over us to spread this message for peace!"
(Written, conceptualised by : Ankur, Manolin, Chen & Neeta Kolhatkar, Rotary Peace fellows class of Apr 2009 )

American policies & their aftermath

I'm NOT anti-american. But that does NOT mean i will prostrate in front of americans or anything american...in fact i've always stated we copy all rubbish from the west & blame it on the poor americans. I do wish we can ape their power to say NO (well that too they let go of when they re-elected the rocket-scientist bush!!), fact that things move there at sonic speed, the people make things happen, they are at least concerned & focussed on their local area management, they believe in change & make it happen & lastly, they believe in true democracy...its not hypocritical, unlike in India...having said so, i think their policy makers are completely out of sync with the reality.

I am NOT accusing them. Let's not forget the Americans have the last say in the world trade organisations, international relations, organisations, in the security concerns, leading financial institutions, lending banks & agencies like the International Monetary fund & the World Bank. Now in the already poorly developed countries like India...yes, we are not poor & we are developed though it is arbit & lop sided development; we always regarded the IMF & WB as international monsters. When the social activists said this, or scholars too, they were all (including many like me) as anti-american, pro-communist, blah blah...now it does NOT connote and people should NOT interprete it wrongly. I believe they simply do NOT have their bearings in place.

The large dam issue for a change. We in India had our indigenous rustic check dams & small dams in place. Now if we wanted some billion $ loans for some project the WB twisted our arms because we did not have the bloody balls to tell them to Fuck off...unlike china we prostrated. I admire chinese policy makers because told the Americans, if they wanted china to accept international investments it would be ONLY on the Chinese terms & conditions. We are a confused nation. We lap up everything as if it is going out of stock tonight itself.

So let go of our indigenous intelligence & skills & instead we happily adopt some model which is trickle down, NO people's participation & go for dams that are competing with mini skyscrapers. It is a damn joke on part of our ministers & highly selfish bureaucrats who are scared that the grassroots will rule the country one day. So in their monopoly to hold onto to power they follow the ridiculous policies of these American policy makers.

Now extend this to our financial scenario. Mr Manmohan Singh, the magician as Indians believe, who got us from high debts to a booming economy. A financial wizard, agreed to all terms & conditions of the investment advisors & so-called financial experts & bankers from America in 1987. So now we had nationalised banks that gave us at least 10% interest, we had decent credit rates, low loan recovery rates, nationalised saving options. We were buffoons according to the international experts. They said, look you Indians you have weird, rustic banking sectors. If you want our funding, want more American investments then you got to get your act i order. NO government control!! period, remove it at once. Decrease bank interests on savings of your poor people, who now should forget they will ever become rich. Block all traditional avenues of investments, you guys have NO idea how to run banks.

So what did we get? More foreign investments, more investments, low credit rates, low interests on our savings, Private banks & more private banks. Well just because some arse hole Harshad Mehta & Ketan Parikhmade trillions on frauds in stock market, does NOT mean the 99.98 million Indians have the know how & access to become corrupt or get involved in frauds. But NO the banking experts had sealed our future. So Indian bank sector became 90 % privatised. Even the nationalised banks began selling off the govt stake.

We got the 1st American bank coming in a BIG way to India...ya ya Citibank. Oh! It made news & how?? They gave loans to the middle class promised a lot & delivery failure took place on part of the customers, often, i admit. The schemes must have been lucrative, who knows. I ONLY know that on 2 occasions i returned the credit cards because my employer had forced me to take them & i had literally cut the credit cards into tiny bits & returned with a stinking note since they were charging obscene amounts. They would send the receipt for credit card late then charge high late fee, after few reminders to send the receipts on time, i stopped.

So the banks pushed us all for telephonic, Internet banking...all methods for international scams & frauds. Instead of making a 'people' contact they hired more English-speaking rude call centre types customer service officers. Who need to be reminded time & again "you are there because i am forced to invest in Ur bank & that it is why you are being hired...your bank is making money on my savings." If i say this most may dislike it...but I'm sorry, I'm the customer, I'm being charged phenomenal amounts for the services which once were my right, are now seen as if the bank is doing me a bloody favour.

So coming back to the Citibank. Suddenly we got news of suicides, rise in police complaints against the bank & their spokespersons making tall claims in the newspapers in the 90s. Why? Becoz this bloody bank had hired men belonging to various underworld gangs & eunuchs (transvestites, those who are more menacing wt criminal records in India) to be loan recovery agents. So what did we media get? Panic calls fm investors & customers saying there are extortion calls. The officers of this bank needed to be shot...im NOT getting into the morals & policies of loans, repayments, etc...i know one thing for sure, if ur investor is NOT educated he/she needs to be explained all details including the consequences of failure of non-payment of loans. The bank put up its hands saying these are agents hired by their agency...the passing of the buck. End result? Some suicides, police feeling helpless & we media going ballistic. But i tell you many cursed that bank.

Today, after the American policy makers made fools of the many countries like India, saying they had More intelligence & expertise on banking...look at them!! what a bunch of jokers they are man...they need to flogged in public seriously...lakhs of people have invested their lives savings in these banks, they must given so much of their salaries as fees for varied services to these arrogant bankers & what do they do? Mismanage the investments & savings of the people? How can they get away with such fraud? Now these very bloody right-wing arse holes of America who have NO commitment to public service (like most right wing politicians & people), who opposed any form of socialism are breathing the very word -NATIONALISATION of American banks?? They owe us people fm various parts of the world a darn apology. I do feel Citibank deserves a hard lesson. Im also glad that scholars & academicians here in the conflict resolution course have re-iterated that do NOT forget the history of any conflict. I do hope the american policy makers & experts realise the mistakes they have made. The aftermath of their mismanagement in our parts of the world where it takes nearly over a generation to make riches in the proper legal way.

Well, i am always looking for NOT putting my money in the banks...any suggestions?? I always remember Shylock..."Merchant of Venice" Shakespear my friends was a visionary...how many eons ago he showed the true colour of a money lender...i strongly believe any lender is always a crook...that Shylock happened to be a Jew is another matter (hahaha....) that apart banks too are money lenders let's NOT forget that...