There are many memories when one is growing that are pleasant & many more that are worth forgetting. Most often as we grow older we forget the bad ones & try & hold onto dear ones…I’ve tried to clear my mind’s memory of most experiences- good or bad…however some stand etched permanently.
I went to Surat & then to Bilimora on this weekend. For most Bilimora is the station after Valsad on way to Delhi. Billimora is a far off suburb for the richie rich Navsari Parsis & Gujjus. There were industries & remaining were farmlands; it was a weekend getaways for the Navsariwalas.
Now Billimora is a town which is unique – gets hot in summer & really cold in winters. It has a some river side area …small compared to even any stream in the western ghats. The drinking water tastes awful. Its salty, terribly pathetic for Bombayites like me. it was rtaumatic to say the least. I'd get Nightmares & was always ill. My aai’s (mother’s) maternal home wc was actually a palatial villa. See, there are few secrets of the family which i can’t reveal..some I may just let out…but believe me when I say palatial its NO exaggeration. It is 52 rooms like old palace…No rickety stairs but many swings..remember ayega…ayega?? (Old Hindi film).
Ok so on the Gandevi road to the left comes this Sardesai villa –Lokesh Bhuvan. On Monday morn it was a mission for my cousin milind & me to make our trip come true! Our maternal uncle’s daughter made contact wt me She & her crafty, schizo husband called me one night persuading me to come to visit them. Now my last memories of this house was etched in my mind, wc was at least 28 yrs ago… a beautiful memory that was kept so till i saw the eventual reality. I NEVER wanted to go there after my grandparents 50th wedding anniv wc then i had got the power to say NO! Didn’t want to re-visit a place where I had memories of being abused. Physically and sexually abused.
Yet, my cousin Milind my mother’s sister’s son was my support. He & i have been buddies since childhood and we have shared our fears & problems always so he convinced me to go. We made a plan & I informed Sonali & her husband…they were all gungho, till they realised I wont be coming alone…they informed me –after I had made all the train bookings that “pl don’t come We won’t be in Bilimora, we have to go to Ahmadabad for an unlimited period of time.” I called Milind & he said I shld come to Surat & now only to prove a point we shld go to Bilimora.
Yes, both our instincts told us that this was all a BIG lie, no one was going anywhere…they did NOT want us to come. We both had our point. But u know what, NO one can deny us the right to visit our mother's maternal homes. Bcoz of our mothers all cousins till i was born were born either in Surat or Bilimora, bcoz Milind’s father was a fine gynac. I wa the first to be born in Bombay.
I went to Surat & then to Bilimora on this weekend. For most Bilimora is the station after Valsad on way to Delhi. Billimora is a far off suburb for the richie rich Navsari Parsis & Gujjus. There were industries & remaining were farmlands; it was a weekend getaways for the Navsariwalas.
Now Billimora is a town which is unique – gets hot in summer & really cold in winters. It has a some river side area …small compared to even any stream in the western ghats. The drinking water tastes awful. Its salty, terribly pathetic for Bombayites like me. it was rtaumatic to say the least. I'd get Nightmares & was always ill. My aai’s (mother’s) maternal home wc was actually a palatial villa. See, there are few secrets of the family which i can’t reveal..some I may just let out…but believe me when I say palatial its NO exaggeration. It is 52 rooms like old palace…No rickety stairs but many swings..remember ayega…ayega?? (Old Hindi film).
Ok so on the Gandevi road to the left comes this Sardesai villa –Lokesh Bhuvan. On Monday morn it was a mission for my cousin milind & me to make our trip come true! Our maternal uncle’s daughter made contact wt me She & her crafty, schizo husband called me one night persuading me to come to visit them. Now my last memories of this house was etched in my mind, wc was at least 28 yrs ago… a beautiful memory that was kept so till i saw the eventual reality. I NEVER wanted to go there after my grandparents 50th wedding anniv wc then i had got the power to say NO! Didn’t want to re-visit a place where I had memories of being abused. Physically and sexually abused.
Yet, my cousin Milind my mother’s sister’s son was my support. He & i have been buddies since childhood and we have shared our fears & problems always so he convinced me to go. We made a plan & I informed Sonali & her husband…they were all gungho, till they realised I wont be coming alone…they informed me –after I had made all the train bookings that “pl don’t come We won’t be in Bilimora, we have to go to Ahmadabad for an unlimited period of time.” I called Milind & he said I shld come to Surat & now only to prove a point we shld go to Bilimora.
Yes, both our instincts told us that this was all a BIG lie, no one was going anywhere…they did NOT want us to come. We both had our point. But u know what, NO one can deny us the right to visit our mother's maternal homes. Bcoz of our mothers all cousins till i was born were born either in Surat or Bilimora, bcoz Milind’s father was a fine gynac. I wa the first to be born in Bombay.
Now before i had left i had heard of ghostly stories about the place – it was in shambles, NOTHING of the past was around. The villa had become a shanty, the gardens, lawns had disappeared, etc. It wasn't the place of my childhood, yet I wanted to see with my own EYES…
Surat was fun as usual. Although my sister-in-law Mamta was unwell, she’d twisted her leg, she was her usual self…we had a good time. I realised Sonali & husband helped me save my money….i didn’t take any brownies frm Theobrama - the place to make Bombay's best brownies - that I had taken for Anav, Advay, Mamta & Milind.
Surat was fun as usual. Although my sister-in-law Mamta was unwell, she’d twisted her leg, she was her usual self…we had a good time. I realised Sonali & husband helped me save my money….i didn’t take any brownies frm Theobrama - the place to make Bombay's best brownies - that I had taken for Anav, Advay, Mamta & Milind.
On Monday morn, we embarked on our journey. First we met the bhaiyaji who had worked at my cousin's house since we were all small….an old man has now cataract but was his old self…who recognised my voice and name! we took his pics & saw the clouds clearing in the skies. We both looked at each other & said let's go & ruin their plans.
We crossed Navsari, the sister city of Surat & said we’d come later to buy our sweets…we discussed how we would be welcomed or not as we hit Gandevi road. We also were puzzled how would we recognise the place if it were no more like before. To our right few metres down the road, was the 3 and a half room shanty, that once was a 52- room mansion! The entrance was no more muddy, the playground was no more.
The blue ganesha temple is now re-painted in beige, but closed with a huge lock. Although exclusive Sardesai family temple, didn’t look like anyone’s ever gone there…the trees around were chopped or simply died. All plants around the bungalow too seemed to have died. The shock for me was that the garden was barren land! It was all naked and exposed for the world to see, like the lives of my surviving maternal uncle and aunty.
Some part has been leased out by my good-for-nothing uncle, so that he can sit on the arm chair & get money in his lap. The garden, thick lawn, trees are reduced to some green & muddy spot. The mud is still there…the house has the old grills, design…but as we approached I saw that after 28 yrs this is a concrete shanty wc is worse than the slums of Bombay.
How do i explain this place was straight out of fairyland! fleet of 11 cars, grenery that would make environmentalists proud! varieyt of flowering plants, trees, my dada ajoba wld talk to his plants. A board that said, 'Trespassers will be prosecuted, bewar of the dgos." mud playing mini maidan, huge compound, open space ahead and behind..it was sheer unbelievable the amount of land owned by my grand parents.
At the entrance the stuffed Bear’s face juts out, like the olden days, yet the lamp is broken, walls are discoloured, with patches & black spots all around…the rest wc used to be a guest room with bath tub, my dada’s room & the hall, all of it destroyed. The god’s room stands closed. Don't know what's hidden inside. Then a 30 -40 ft verandah is now reduced to 5ft where the 2 Labradors are tied...the dogs' kennels, playing gruond and compound no more. It looks as if this shanty is an encroachment on a huge mass of land that once belonged to that family.
The servant’s quarters, the 3 extra rooms of the kitchen, the store rooms, other rooms…all gone. we look to our right the entrance is still dark & dingy. Sudha maushi's room & aaji-dada’s room wt their toilet is there, rest, NOTHING.
How do i explain this place was straight out of fairyland! fleet of 11 cars, grenery that would make environmentalists proud! varieyt of flowering plants, trees, my dada ajoba wld talk to his plants. A board that said, 'Trespassers will be prosecuted, bewar of the dgos." mud playing mini maidan, huge compound, open space ahead and behind..it was sheer unbelievable the amount of land owned by my grand parents.
At the entrance the stuffed Bear’s face juts out, like the olden days, yet the lamp is broken, walls are discoloured, with patches & black spots all around…the rest wc used to be a guest room with bath tub, my dada’s room & the hall, all of it destroyed. The god’s room stands closed. Don't know what's hidden inside. Then a 30 -40 ft verandah is now reduced to 5ft where the 2 Labradors are tied...the dogs' kennels, playing gruond and compound no more. It looks as if this shanty is an encroachment on a huge mass of land that once belonged to that family.
The servant’s quarters, the 3 extra rooms of the kitchen, the store rooms, other rooms…all gone. we look to our right the entrance is still dark & dingy. Sudha maushi's room & aaji-dada’s room wt their toilet is there, rest, NOTHING.
It is NO surpirse we were NOT welcomed. What i noticed was the uncle's lordly fascinations keeping dogs still continues. The 2 Labradors barked their lungs out…the hall has the same black & white squared design tiles that my grandfather had built, were still intact. So was a lot of wood furtniture. Dunno how a lot of it was eaten by white ants. The 2 beds & cupboards, blackboard wt kids’s desks is there…one bed is turned up against the wall & aditya in his wheel chair. The maternal uncle was sprawled on the grand arm chair that were aai aji-dada’s. Behind the grand old dinning table cum store table exits. One gas range in the old place & the kitchen is now shifted outside. Behind the table the wash basin & grills remain . Rest behind is all vacant land! NO factory, no premises…new bungalow and houses are seen 1000 of metres away.
Milind told me aai’s & his mother’s rooms were intact…but it was out of bounds for us. My maternal uncle seemed terribly upset upon seeing us both. so the 2 villains were at their door. Mami who I feel sad for…yes despite her silent support to that man who is actually her brother-in-law but left my older abusive uncle for this monster, seems resigned to her fate- consequences for NOT making a change for herself & letting herself live in this strange house….I feel bad for her..she seems reconciled to her fate, happy in her surroundings…with the actions she has taken. Ok, he has been a monster with me, but has loved her always although it may be icnest. We both spoke after like 28 yrs??? it was my uncle's b'day a few days ago she made sweets & offered us. we both ate reluctantly…that man refused to acknowledge us or talk to us. He has NO idea that the most eccentric nephew & niece were on his doorstep, haha especially the niece…I can IGNORE people wt such elan he has NO idea…later some sense dawned on him & he stood up to talk to us.. he had worn a shirt wt 6-7 holes…his teeth discoloured & mouth filled beetle nut as usual.
Milind told me aai’s & his mother’s rooms were intact…but it was out of bounds for us. My maternal uncle seemed terribly upset upon seeing us both. so the 2 villains were at their door. Mami who I feel sad for…yes despite her silent support to that man who is actually her brother-in-law but left my older abusive uncle for this monster, seems resigned to her fate- consequences for NOT making a change for herself & letting herself live in this strange house….I feel bad for her..she seems reconciled to her fate, happy in her surroundings…with the actions she has taken. Ok, he has been a monster with me, but has loved her always although it may be icnest. We both spoke after like 28 yrs??? it was my uncle's b'day a few days ago she made sweets & offered us. we both ate reluctantly…that man refused to acknowledge us or talk to us. He has NO idea that the most eccentric nephew & niece were on his doorstep, haha especially the niece…I can IGNORE people wt such elan he has NO idea…later some sense dawned on him & he stood up to talk to us.. he had worn a shirt wt 6-7 holes…his teeth discoloured & mouth filled beetle nut as usual.
My picture of this mama has been he would always cut the beetle nut with the cracker. His fingers stained as dark red-black as his teeth. Milind & I took pics, I played wt the dogs for a while. Dogs were besotted by me, seemed rather lonely. Milind smartly took sonali’s numb & called her in front of them. The colour on aunty's face ran off like the first rains washing the dirt on the leaves! She tried to tell us the same story…they were to go somewhere…sonali answered the call. We gave her no time to react, simply said we are on the way. Meanwhile mami said we cld meet Bondre kaku (the cook of yesteryear's) & her daughters as we left…the call fm Mapara household came instnatly as we were leaving.
It was a visit that churned so many people's emotions and memories. What struck me the most was that this family has NOT simply come to terms wt the FACT that what goes up can come down…and how! there are NO more landed riches, feudal lords, one has to work hard for one’s living..simple rule of life wc the men in this family NEVER understood. They wanted it all easy to the extent they would have even got us to sleep wt other men for fulfilling thier own goals. Thankfully the women had more brains. Especially my aai who got out from there rather early-college days.
The interesting part is the going rate is Rs 110 per sq ft in this part of India, (under 3$ per square feet!!) ..fm 52-rooms the shanty is down to 3 and a half..how much more evidence do these relatives need to learn that their party is OVER. Who would want to come & live here? acres and acres of barren lands...
The Mapara household was funnier Manish the husband my so-called brother in law, as he is one a crafty man...ran away like ‘catch me if u can.’ We were asked for tea but ofcourz were never served anything…we then went to Nandan Math. An ashram that once was promoted by my dada ajoba, grandfather... there we were treated better than our own ‘relatives.’ The former cook and her daughters recognised Milind & me, gave us tea & sweets!! Mostly they made us feel at home in their 2 room cozy chawl room. Although living in an ashram they were warm, down to earth. They related to us as if they were our real family. They are simple beings but more than 'relatives.' They know the family's secrets & truths far better than the 'players' themselves.
The interesting part is the going rate is Rs 110 per sq ft in this part of India, (under 3$ per square feet!!) ..fm 52-rooms the shanty is down to 3 and a half..how much more evidence do these relatives need to learn that their party is OVER. Who would want to come & live here? acres and acres of barren lands...
The Mapara household was funnier Manish the husband my so-called brother in law, as he is one a crafty man...ran away like ‘catch me if u can.’ We were asked for tea but ofcourz were never served anything…we then went to Nandan Math. An ashram that once was promoted by my dada ajoba, grandfather... there we were treated better than our own ‘relatives.’ The former cook and her daughters recognised Milind & me, gave us tea & sweets!! Mostly they made us feel at home in their 2 room cozy chawl room. Although living in an ashram they were warm, down to earth. They related to us as if they were our real family. They are simple beings but more than 'relatives.' They know the family's secrets & truths far better than the 'players' themselves.
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